Quotes

Passengers

"It says 'under fives free', so how much is a four year old?"

"I want my money back: it says "Welsh Highland Railway", but the train doesn't go up any hills."

"There's two adults and one child travelling. If we count the dog, can we have a family ticket?"

"If a return trip is fifty minutes, how long before we get back?"

Staff

"It's called the Gladstone Coach because Churchill, the famous Prime Minister once travelled in it."

"The train will be here shortly, it's literally coming through the shed doors now."

"Women are qualified as drivers, firemen and guards, so you often get a train that's crewed by one of each sex."

"Of course you can't just switch a steam locomotive on. It takes hours of preparation. So if the first train is at 10:45, the driver and fireman usually get here for half ten." Lost In Translation?

Guard: Karen is like a big kettle, except we use the steam to push the wheels round
Passenger: So how do you make tea then?

Guard: The chain in the roof sounds the whistle, it only makes a noise when the engine has steam up.
Passenger: So is it running on electric today?

Guard: The railway closed in 1937. There wasn't enough tourist traffic to keep it going.
Passenger: (knowledgeably) Presumably the competition from Easyjet was too much.